• Jason

The Open Close 19.4 - Thew Kat's Meow

Welcome ladies, (and gentlemen in ladies' clothing) to what is sure to be the most bitchin' edition of The Open Close '19, because in the words of the great Queen herself, "Who run da world? Girlz".

It seems the allure of a decent night sleep was far too strong for the "Boss Man" (as he tells us to call him) and he jetted off to Darwin under the guise of "Coaching Junko" at the National Master's Championships. In his absence, he made one of his more sensible decisions as a leader, leaving Hannah and I in charge to turn Friday Night Lights into a good old fashioned Hoe down. In the words of Cindi Lauper "Girls just wanna have fun" and I think we can all agree, that not only was a lot of fun had, but that Friday nights event was better, and run smoother than any preceding it.

First and foremost, the most exciting thing to come out of this weekend was the addition of a new kitty to the litter! Nass and Aimee welcomed beautiful little Ezra Mawake Gudgeon to the world on 16th March 2019. All reports state that the new little family is doing well (and Nass should be off to support Junko at a lifting comp in a few months.)

The 19.4 announcement was off to an exciting start as we all gathered around our laptops, licking our whiskers, eager to catch a glimpse of CrossFit Claremont alumni, Dustin "Coooeee, can you hear my ecoe" Fergus. A sad day for Brad Carey to discover the "comments" function had been disabled to eliminate the certain possibility of him flooding the feed but unfortunately for Dustin, the wider CrossFit community prevailed and he was mercifully torn to pieces by trolls.

19.4 was the first time we were forced to rest (or to take a quick "paws") as a part of an Open workout, which had the majority of us, grinning like cheshire cats. Throw in some Power Snatches, Bar Facing Burpees and Bar Muscle Ups and that was 19.4, the "rest" was history...

There were some great photos to come out of 19.4, many of which could be used for character assassination in the future. So to take a look browse through the CrossFit Claremont Members Page and sink your claws in.

Things Gary heard: "Two chicks will be running tonight, it may actually go to plan..." - Me

A pin drop - after my rant that no one listens during the wod brief "The funny thing is, we will still win" - Black team member upon being threatened with point


"No rep" - me to Sean Sweeney, Lauren Atkinson and basically anyone not in Purple.

"Big girls don't cry" - Fergi to Sean Sweeney after he was no repped.

"Finally got into Kat's pants!" Mitch Bell.

The numbers: 2 - The no reps I gave Sean Sweeney in the dying second of the workout. 2 - The reps Sean Sweeney was from finishing the workout.

3 - The number of times Emma D jumped over the bar after 1 burpee

3 - The number of times Jason was no repped during FNL at CrossFit Territory. Tried to give them a "Don't you know who I am?" which was poorly received.

3.218 - The number of kilos baby Ezra weighed in at. 3 - The hits Sean gave out post workout. First was his bottom lip hitting the ground, second was was smash video hit he choreographed with the song and dance he put on complaining. The third was me telling him to hit the road.

8 - Hours of uninterrupted sleep Jason got.

9 - The number of lives a kat has.

10 - The number of chart owning, number 1 singles Beyonce has had

11.21 - Minutes it took Scott Siekierka to finish the wod.

11.30 - Minutes it took Mitch Bell to finish the wod.

Things Gary Saw - Guy - far too much. Notable performances: - Good to see Coach Fin coming down from the mountains like a Elf in middle earth. He sprinkled some of his magic, flew though the workout and finished somewhere in the 10s.

- Emma (former fittest Mum award winner) smashed FNL and got out 6 Bar Muscle Ups. She thought she would come for a second bite of the cherry at 6am Monday, but her judge realised in the rest period she had only been doing 10 burpees.

- Chantel - a very impressive primal performance doing the entire workout bare foot. I hear she and Aimee were making very similar "labour type" noises around the same time, Aimee's were probably more warranted though...

- Mike Warner's pins looking a treat in my leggings. He managed to get his first (plus second, third and fourth) muscle ups. Most have got some strength passed on from a top 60 athletes like myself.

Pippa - Really impressive in the snatches. Unable to snatch 29kg in the warm up ended up busting out almost 30 of them. - Lauren Atkinson - getting gymnasty and showing some beautiful bar muscle ups

Week 3 Standings:

Being that 19.4 was ladies night, a rule was imposed that all competitors must be wearing at least one item of female clothing to complete. Being the stickler, Judge Judy type that I am, I was eager to hunt down anyone not abiding by the dress policy and enforce the penalty of -50% of your total score. With a pretty amazing turn out the only fines being received (after much deliberation) by Sean Sweeney (Black) and Cooper Lindsay (White). Sean wore a G-String but due to this being a male G and also something he regularly wears this was deemed insufficient.

It seems that during the week I was too busy painting my nails (fire engine red) and braiding my hair to complete the crucial task of checking the chalk supply and as a result, we ran dry. 50 bonus reps were on offer to anyone who could provide a box of chalk and Liz Bellis (White), Danny Moss (Purple) and Marshall Allen (Purple) were the kats who got the cream and provided their factions with some crucial points.

A lot of people have (myself included) have been somewhat skeptical of the scoring. However after double checking each week's reps (all you have to do is add them up) I can confirm the scores are in fact accurate and I would like to take this as an opportunity to formally apologise to Jason, who it would appear is as fair and just, as he is handsome.

This story of this week was participation, Black once again had no zero scores, maintaining their flawless record throughout the 4 weeks. Both White and Purple had 3 zero's, which in the end was the difference. Even though on Friday night all I did was waffle on about men being unorganised, so far no male has missed submitting a score yet. The scores after the deductions and bonus chalk points:

3rd - Purple: 1308

2nd - White: 1416 1st - Black: 1654 This takes the scores to: 1st: Black: 12 points - 1st, 1st, 1st, 1st =2nd: Purple: 6 points - 3rd, 2nd, 2nd, 3rd

=2nd: White: 6 points - 2nd, 3rd, 3rd, 2nd While unfortunately the race for first is now decided, the prize of not being last is still on offer. Like the Poet/Songwriter Nelly once said "Two is not a winner and 3 nobody remembers". Remember just like last year, we have our end of Open Awards coming up, many of which are dependant on your votes. So get your thinking Kat's on for: Best First Year: Biggest Improved: Spirit of Your Faction: Dummy Spit Award: Big Things Next Year: Fittest Mum Fittest Dad

Until next time, yours in fitness,



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